Well yesterday was a bit to swallow. Plastic surgery is one of those things I guess. You are either going in because you don't like the way your body is, or your body doesn't like the way you are. I will have to admit, I didn't think it was going to be that graphic.
I wish I didn't have to do this, really. I guess I need to step back and realize that when I come forth on the morning of the first Resurrection, I will be made whole again. Its one of those things though, I guess.
The surgeon's explanation was thorough, but didn't leave me with a beautiful feeling. I know I have probably created another image in my head. I thought about asking for evidence of his previous work, but would that offend him? I just want to know I wont look like that one dude from nightmare before Christmas, because that was what I had pictured.
OK, let it go Shayla. You are at the best with the best...everything will be fine. Put it into the Lords hands.
There, done, ok...next....
So this is a blog on my Breast Cancer adventure, right? No need to get graphic on here. If you want to know how my appointment went, I will just say the entire plastic surgery thing is for me to know, and only my husband to find out....and for any of you who cover their ears when a boob, or nipple is mentioned (Peat Litster) I have breast cancer. There is no way of hiding the fact that they will do this to my that and then add this and that is what will look like.
I am so going to wear a proud shirt when this is all done. The nurse already gave me a shirt that says:
"of course these are fake, the real ones tried to kill me" Gotta love it.
On a different note-
Today I meet with the Oncology group. I wonder how much I can absorb after yesterdays slightly pornographic education, with me as the subject for study. Yeah it was weird, and though that resident was helpful in answering some of my statistical questions, he was young, handsome and it was a little, er lot uncomfortable.
The Oncologist will let me know the best chemo for my situation. Its funny because most of the Drs tell me....but this is only what I recommend. It is always your choice. It puts things into perspective. I have the choice to live or die...uhh...ok. I guess I will take the advice you give me. Granted some of the things they tell me, there is an actual choice, but very limited in my situation.
I think I am done blogging for today. I had a great night of sleep, which is amazing as of late. I like to sleep , because in my dreams I don't have cancer. I am just a regular Shayla doing regular things. Its nice, then I wake up and I realize I better get going because I have another appointment. It is going to be a year of appointments! This too shall pass, right?
Just one last thing---
I apologize to those of you who I have not spoken to, on this kind of level. Some may feel they deserve a more personal explanation, others may not even care.It is too hard to tell one person all of this kind of stuff, then repeat it 100 more times that day.
I am on information overload right now. I have done my best to get my self ready, daughter off to school, baby in the appropriate hands, and then I am off to Huntsman, or the U. This has been my schedule, literally an appointment everyday, which lasts for hours. You can see, that doesn't leave me nearly enough time to get home, be with my family, process it, and go to sleep.
Please know that I wish I could answer everyones phone calls, really. Those who know me, know I would be on the phone all day with my friends and family, if possible. I am a talker! So if you call, which is fine right now, I will do my best to answer. Text is always great too! This is just a better way to update those concerned, and thank you so much for your continued support. It really means everything to me.
COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT....(trying really hard today to love my body)