Sunday, July 4, 2010
Day 13 of Chemo
I woke up looking forward to a hot shower just like the rest of my mornings, only to find many, many strands of hair to come out, I knew this day was coming, so I hurried on with my shower and carefully finished getting ready for the day.
That very night I decided to take another shower (I am a hygiene freak...two showers a day is a requirement for me.)
This was a lot more hard. What the heck happens to your hair in 12 hours? I started pulling out chunks.
This was then when I fell apart. I had so much hair just falling down the drain. I did a little hair art on the shower wall and quickly got out.
This for me was the final realization, I have cancer, and everything they are telling me is real. It was my time to finally let go and grieve.
That was a hard day.
I knew how I wanted to approach things though. My husband cut it for me. I will no doubt post pictures. Some of them a little scary, but I was so sick from the chemo that day, please bare with me.
That was day # 13 from the first chemo treatment I had.
Now what do I say from my adapted motto "Come what may and love it"
I am just having a hard week, but this too shall pass. Its just hair, and its who I am, I have freaking cancer, and I have the Lord on my side...what else could be better than knowing of the richness and fullness of the Gospel and a sweet understanding of the Atonement. Though I still don't understand "why me?" For this I am grateful and humbled to know the Lord is watching out for me, even with this great trial he has blessed me with. We cannot move on until we have learned what pain feels like.